At the heart of the Champions of some sort of Change philosophy is an almost colonial impulse.
The Gentleman’s Burden: A Psychological Satire of the Champions of some sort of Change. In the vast, glittering halls of progress, where lanyards swing like modern-day medals of virtue, there exists a peculiar species of man: The Enlightened Ally. He speaks in panels, tweets in solidarity, and once—legend has it—even wore a pink tie to a diversity brunch. But his most noble title? Member of the Champions of some sort of Change —a cabal so deeply invested in gender equality that it insists on holding all the microphones to prove it.
This coalition, like many of its well-meaning ilk, was formed with the premise that what women need—more than reproductive rights, bodily autonomy, or pay equity—is… male validation. After all, who better to champion women’s rights than the very people who have historically denied them?
The Psychological Profile: Savior Complex with a Side of Chardonnay
Psychologists have coined a term for this phenomenon: Affirmative Narcissism—a condition where powerful men seek to liberate others in a way that keeps themselves front and center. In clinical studies (or more accurately, HR workshops sponsored by conglomerates), these men exhibit high levels of performative empathy, accompanied by a curious resistance to structural change. Their catchphrases include:
- “As a father of daughters…”
- “We need to give women a seat at the table…”
- “We just promoted our first female VP…”
What the data fails to capture, however, is the underlying pathology: the belief that justice must be endorsed by the ruling class to become legitimate.
Moral Optics
The Gentleman’s Burden! At the heart of the Champions of some sort of Change philosophy is an almost colonial impulse. Their campaigns operate like PR safaris—roaming through the terrain of female suffering with cameras, consultants, and curated LinkedIn posts. Each woman’s trauma becomes a badge. Each policy adjustment, a charitable concession.
Women, in this universe, are not autonomous agents of change but grateful recipients of male enlightenment. One CEO even reportedly said, “We’re empowering our women by mentoring them into leadership roles,” which sounds suspiciously like training dolphins to jump through flaming hoops and then clapping for them.
When Recognition Becomes Repossession
The cruel irony is that these coalitions, in seeking to amplify women’s rights, often recolonize them. Rights become gifts, progress becomes permission, and feminism is filtered through the lens of what is palatable to the corporate boardroom.
It is a system of what can only be called Patriarchal Benevolence: a structure where male leaders appear to dismantle the hierarchy while standing on top of it.
It’s like a man burning down his own house and expecting applause for holding the fire extinguisher.
The Gentleman’s Burden: A World Without Applause
Imagine, for a moment, a radical scenario: what if women didn’t need men in suits to recognize their rights in order to have them? What if validation wasn’t outsourced to the most photogenic male executive with an “Ally” pin and a strategic diversity consultant?
Organizations like the Champions of some sort of Change might then be rendered obsolete. Or, perhaps more accurately, rebranded—as the Coalition of Men Who Finally Sat Down and Let Others Speak.
But alas, silence doesn’t trend well on LinkedIn.
The Satire Bites Back
It’s not that all men in these coalitions are bad. Some are genuinely reflective, some are sincere. But the structure they operate in—the psychological and institutional need to center themselves in the process of equality—is not just flawed. It is a subtle sabotage. It convinces the world that justice is something that must be awarded, not claimed.
Until power learns to shut up, step aside, and stop narrating its own generosity, the liberation it offers is nothing more than gilded captivity.
Because true change doesn’t need a champion.
It needs a reckoning.
